In Your Eyes
by Fae 206
Summary: During the shooting of a drama that Ren and Kyoko are doing together, an accident involving a stage light nearly ends Kyoko's life. However, when her prince charming saves her life by risking his own, both his eyesight and his appearance are destroyed. Can Ren/Kuon move through this new stage of his life and is the president tasking Kyoko with his care a good thing?(1st person POV)
1. Chapter 1 - Without Sight

**AN:** Hi, everyone. I guess I decided to write yet another Skip Beat fic to go with the twenty-six that I'm already working on. My hours are going to go down soon at work because someone new got hired and somebody else has returned from their leave of absence so my aim is to update ten to fifteen fics every Saturday. Now, I call this my aim but sometimes things go wrong so thank you so much for your patience.

This is something that I've wanted to write for a while though so I hope you enjoy it.

Also, I do keep note of the more popular of my fics and I'll try to update these a little more often than some of the others: It's Just Like Magic, Parenting Firsts, Q and A, Study of Life, The Lake in the Park, and The Little Prince.

Thank you for your patience with that long author note, I hope you enjoy the story 😊

 **In Your Eyes**

 **Chapter One – Without Sight**

I'm such a coward. I don't know what happened or how it happened but the lead actor for A Lotus in the Mud couldn't perform the part and so they reoffered me the role. I accepted of course. I mean, Mogami-san is appearing in this drama and maybe I'm being a little too protective but I wanted to star opposite her. However, I'm such a coward for not being able to tell her how I feel about her. How I love her.

Yashiro comes to sit beside me as we watch the scene, "She's really good," he says and he doesn't need to repeat that for me. I know how skilled she is as an actress. I know how talented she is and how she can bring the character to life. I love watching her. "So, how's the lighting for you?" he asks me and I look at him confused.

"I'm fine," I tell him before seeing that Mogami-san is actually sweating. Not only has she been performing stunts and with weapons as well but they tried to create the feeling of daylight using a large number of lights.

I hear the scene being called but then notice that Mogami-san is taking a while to get up, she's panting hard. I have to applaud her for putting her whole self into this scene. I stand up wanting to talk to her and feel a sudden shock around me. An earthquake. Well, earthquakes are common in Japan and they are also common in California. However, the lighting really worries me.

I hear something like the rip of cables and see that the one above Mogami-san is becoming looser. How can nobody else see it? She's too exhausted to get up but it would devastate me were she to get hurt. I hear another rip and I run forwards. I feel a slight pain as I grab her and roll with her to get her out of the light but as I do so, I hear screams and the studio light has broken off. I shove her away but it's too late for me and I feel those shards of glass all over my body.

My whole entire body starts to feel hot as if I'm on fire and I can hear muffled screaming. My face feels hot but I'm losing consciousness. The last thing I feel is a damp cloth being placed over my face. That's when it all goes black.

…..

…..

I must be getting more skilled at my acting because I feel like I'm losing my grip on the world around me through my exhaustion. Still, if that exhaustion brings about a good scene for Momiji then I've done my work as an actor. I feel the ground start to shake under me. No, it's probably my imagination. If I close my eyes I can calm myself down and get ready for the next scene.

From above me I hear something strange, something ripping like cord or rope or something? Is this part of the scenery? Well if I could just keep my eyes closed for a couple mor-

Something large and warm wraps around me and I feel myself rolling to the side. I open my eyes and I feel confused. I got really excited, though a bit nervous, when I heard that the roles had been changed and Tsuruga-san had been reoffered the role. I also felt excited when he had accepted it. I get to work with him again but working next to him means that I have to work harder at concealing my feelings.

Still, I don't understand why he's shoving me but I back up and then I see it. The large light from above where I was positioned has come loose and I scream as I see the glass shatter, cutting into his body. Then the electricity from the light, that bright light which has caused me to sweat, starts to burn his skin and he's not getting up.

I can't stop it. This is a nightmare, right? He has to get up. I can't be witnessing the death of Ren Tsuruga. I wanted him to tell me his real name but does anyone know it? His family. Does his family know where he is? Why isn't he moving?

I see a few crew members try to stop the flames but he's not moving. He's not moving. I can't even see the rise and fall of his chest. Is he alive? Oh god, what if he _isn't_ alive any longer? I crawl forwards and see that there is so much blood, so much burned skin. I can even smell the burned skin and I look up at Yashiro-san who is phoning the ambulance.

"Tsuruga-san?" I ask with tears clouding my vision. I lift up his wrist, I can feel his pulse.

I don't know if these wounds will heal but I'm scared that this might be the last time I can see him alive. I nervously let my hand brush through his hair. I never even got the chance to tell him how much I love him and how much he means to me.

He saved my life. What if he sacrificed his life to save mine? I caused this. I just don't want to be responsible for the death of Tsuruga Ren.

…

…..

It's dark when I find myself gain consciousness. I hear the beeping of the machines that I'm hooked up to but I can't see them. Do I have something covering my eyes? I move my hand but my arm really hurts, the other I can't move at all. There's nothing over my eyes so it must just be incredibly dark in this room. Strange. Hospital rooms aren't usually this dark.

I feel my face, heavy bandages. Did I get hurt? Did that actually happen, the light? Did the light…no, maybe I just was too exhausted but then why am I hearing a heart monitor. I hear the door open and turn towards the sound hoping that there will be some light so I can actually know what's going on.

"Hi, Ren," I hear the president say and I turn to face him. I can't see him. "I told them that you might not have anyone else. I told them that I was your last legal guardian," he tells me and I nod. Why can't I make out anything in the darkness? I have always had better night vision than most. "How are you feeling?"

"Can you turn the light on?" I ask, my voice sounds scratchy and different, not that smooth one that has audiences wanting more. I hear a hesitancy in the president's voice. He must be hearing my voice as well.

"Ren, I want you to try to stay calm," the president says and I have a sinking feeling in my stomach. What is he going to tell me? "I think your parents might need to be contacted. I think that at least your mother should be with you right now."

"I don't need them to come," I argue. What is he talking about? Why is he telling me to stay calm? I just need for him to turn the stupid light on. "Can you just turn the li-"

"It's mid-morning and there's a window to your left," the president tells me. He doesn't sound his overly excited and expressive self right now. He sounds very severe and very straightforward. I don't recognize this part of the president.

"That's not possible," I argue with him. "There's no light, I can't see…."

No. No way. I can't admit that this is possible. It's not possible. I can see. There's no way that I can't see. I don't want to hear anything more which isn't true. This is a joke. It has to be a joke.

"Ren, I need you to be calm. You can't see because…you've lost your vision, you're blind."

 _You're blind_.

No. He's lying to me. There's no way that I'm blind. I'll be able to see soon. He just doesn't want to turn the light on but I don't know his reasons for that. Still, I'm _not_ blind.

"The light that fell on you had many effects on your physical body but the fact that you were wearing contacts caused damage to your eyes when the smoke and fire hit the contacts they burned into your eyes. I'm sorry," he tells me and I don't want to hear this. What is he talking about?

"I'm not blind," I argue and he sighs.

"I'm going to put my hand on your shoulder," he tells me slowly before doing so. "I'll do whatever I can to help you through this but I think that your parents would be much more capable than I am. You know that if your father doesn't know about this now then -"

"If I _am_ blind and I'm not willing to admit to that," I state. "You can call my parents but if I'm not then please allow me to continue being Ren Tsuruga."

I hear hesitancy before the president continues to ask me, "Is there anything else that I can help you with for right now?"

…

…

I love making dinner with my wife. It's one of the most exciting times for me when we get to do it together and now I remember when we used to cook for Kuon. I think about him every day but it gives me confidence that I was able to see him in Japan even if it was just Tsuruga Ren that I truly saw. I hope he can come home soon.

I hear my phone ring and pause, I know that ring tone but I'm not sure why he would be calling me now. I look at Julie with a weak smile, "That's Boss –" I begin and she frowns.

"The kidnapper?" she asks and I nod with a weak smile.

"Yeah, but it might be important so I'm going to be right back," I tell her and grab my phone at the very last ring. Usually he contacts me about work. He sometimes gives me little bits of information on Kuon but it's rare. That makes it sadder for me. My son is so far away and I don't know that much about him.

"Hello, Boss" I say as I answer the phone but hear labored breathing from his side. Is something wrong? Did something happen?

"Shuuhei," he says, using my former stage name, "Are you sitting down?"

"We were just about to ea-" I begin but hear the hesitancy in his voice. Something is wrong here. Something happened. "Boss, what's going on?"

"Shuuhei, I need you to remain calm. Are you sitting down?" he asks and I look back to the dining room and pull out a chair, sitting down in it.

"I am now, Boss. Is everything okay? Is… _he_ okay?" I ask. Something in my stomach doesn't feel right and

this time it's not the craving for food. The somber tone and the vagueness is making me nervous.

"There was a tragic accident on set," Boss says and I feel for a moment that I can't breathe. Tragic!? Meaning, dead? Kuon is dead? My mind is starting to spin. I couldn't protect him. It's my fault that he's over there. I let my hand run through my hair. "There were certain resul-"

"Tell me," I beg as I feel my back slump and I hold to the phone with both hands. "Just tell me. He's my son. Is he dea—dea?" the word sound so unnatural and Julie has dropped the plate of food that she's holding and stares at me desperately.

"He's not dead. He's badly hurt with burns and lacerations over his body and a stab wound. He's going to live but Shuuhei," Boss continues and though this does sound horrible, it is a relief that he's going to live through this. At least the worst hasn't happened. "He's permanently blind."

I feel my body turn cold and I feel tears in my eyes. It's not something that you want to hear. Your own son losing his vision.

"He's….blind?" I ask before hearing Julie gasp and start sobbing with one arm wrapped around her chest. "Are you sure?"

"The doctors are positive," Boss says and I feel stabs of pain over my skin.

"Are we allowed to come see him?" I ask, hating that I have to ask permission for this. "Please, Boss. He's my son. I don't know how I can cope if I can't see him. He needs someone to look after him and I know that you could do it but he's…he's my kid. Please let us be his parents."

"Yes," Boss says and I nod to Julie who immediately gets onto her phone to get us plane tickets for the next flight. "He won't be returning to acting. I think it's best for everyone if you come. He needs someone to take care of him whether he'll admit it or not."

"I understand," I whisper as I feel so much sadness for what I've heard. Once I've ended the call, Julie runs into my arms and I don't know what to say as I wrap my arms around her. I just hope he'll be able to pull through and find something to bring him joy again.

 **End of Chapter One**

 **Thank you so much for reading, it would really mean a lot to me if you could review**

 **Note:** This is mainly going to be in Ren's/Kuon's perspective but I'm going to add at least one other character for every chapter. Hope you enjoy


	2. Chapter 2 - Acceptable Visitation

**AN:** I hope you enjoy. I'm still working on balancing the fics I update but I really hope that you guys are enjoying these 😊

 **Chapter Two – Acceptable Visitation**

I take a deep breath in. I know that once I tell the man this there is no way of going back and changing my answer but I am going to change a man's life whilst he's suffering. Usually I carefully plan these things out. I stand facing the doctor knowing it's the best thing for Re-Kuon.

"I need to have two people added to Tsuruga Ren's visitation list," I tell them. I'm glad that I have a copy of Kuon's passport, it may be the only way of making sure that his parents can freely visit him.

"Do you have the list?" the doctor asks me. "I've been trying to find a number which I can call for his parents or his medical history but there are only a few files in this hospital for Tsuruga Ren. Is there another name that he's -" the doctor begins and I nod before showing him the passport.

"Yes, Hizuri Kuon is his real name," I tell the doctor and he stares at the photo. This photo was taken a while back when he was still blond and I know that he and I have both been safeguarding it. The doctor takes down his name.

"Thank you. Is he any relation to Hizuri Kuu?" the doctor asks and I nod.

"He's his son. I need for Kuu and Juliella Hizuri to be added to his visitation. He's their son," I explain and the doctor looks shocked but he still notes down the name. He looks at me and smiles.

"Thank you, I'll make sure that they are added," he tells me, "Anything else that I can help you with, Takarada-san?"

"No, that's all," I tell him, "Thank you."

…

…

I can't see. As much as I've tried to find my way in the darkness, force my eyelids to stay open, I can't see a thing. I wonder if I look different now. I wonder if I'm recognizable with the cuts and burns. I can't be an actor anymore, I can't even be a voice actor. I wish that I could because that would at least be connected to the acting world but I can't read….I feel sick. I won't be able to read another book in my life. I won't be able to write anything down in a legible manner. I won't be able to go out in nature and see the animals. I won't be able to safely drive a car. Most of my life is over.

At least she's alive though. I have to keep remembering that, keep remembering the reason why I can't see. She could have died so at least I was able to save the woman I love.

Sleep has been the only comfort to me but it's hard to sleep all day even when you're completely engulfed by sadness. I don't know if it's been minutes or hours that I've been in the hospital. I don't have that concept of time down. Maybe there's a way for my sight to get better. Maybe there's some kind of operation and they'll tell me about it when I next wake up.

I feel by the change in temperature that it's now night so if it was mid morning when I spoke to the president then twelve maybe more hours have passed by. I have no idea.

I hear the door open slowly and I lie back on the bed. I don't know what the doctors want to test but they'll most likely tell me. I feel nauseous that I don't even know what my own doctor looks like. I can't see anything anymore.

I hear a woman crying. It sounds familiar. Why would a woman be crying though?

That's when I hear a very familiar voice that I had only heard slightly less than a year ago, "It's okay. He's alive, it's okay Julie."

"But look at him," my mother says, "The bandages. They don't put bandages on someone for nothing, Kuu. I…I can't…what happened to our son?"

"Your son is awake," I inform them and hear them come closer to me.

I hear quick footsteps and then feel a hand on my shoulder. "Oh my god, darling," Mom says to me through her audible tears. "How are you feeling? Oh my little Kuon. What hurts?"

"I wish I could see you," I whisper and Mom gently lets her hand run over my head and through my hair. Good, somehow I still have hair.

"It's okay, darling. You can't help it," she kisses my forehead. "At least you're alive. Your father and I are here to help you. You look so handsome, so grown up."

I shake. I have only just realized that I haven't seen my mother or a picture of my mother since I was fifteen. That was nearly six years ago. The memories I have of her are from six years ago. I don't even know what my own mother looks like now and I hope the memories I have of her don't fade.

"Oh, darling. I know it's scary but I'm here for you, my love," Mom tells me as she kisses my forehead again and I can hear my dad trying to control his breathing but he sounds heartbroken as well.

I reach out for her and she moves back so I can touch her. My hand is clumsy on her body but finally I reach her cheek and she holds my hand there so I'm cupping her cheek. I let my thumb run over her face. I can feel her nose, her lips, and then I pause. I just put my thumb over her eye, I pull my hand back.

"Can you see anything?" Dad asks gravely. I don't want to hear him so sad.

"Nothing. It's completely gone," I tell him and hear Dad's slow breathing.

"They should cover your eyes with a bandage," he says before leaving the room and I can hear gasps and people questioning why he's here but he doesn't answer them. I hear him talk to somebody. "Why aren't his eyes covered if they aren't working? They should heal or at least the area around them. There might still be a chance of saving his sight."

"I'm sorry that we couldn't protect you from this," Mom says as she runs her hand over my forehead again. "I love you, Kuon."

"I have to be Kuon now, don't I?" I ask and Mom pauses. I know that she's a little nervous about this, about hurting my feelings, crushing my dreams. "It's okay. I can't act anyway so I can't be Tsuruga Ren."

"There are still some things that you can do," Dad says and I bow my head and shake it as I move on the pillow a little. I can hear the pain in Mom's voice and the way she knows that this isn't how I wanted this reunion to go. I haven't seen my mother for years and when she's there with me again, I can't see her. I wonder if my body is bad. I wonder if it even matters.

"Could you leave?" I ask them selfishly and I hear the shock that each of them has as they turn to me. I know them. I've watched them all my childhood, admiring both of them but mostly my father. I just want to be left alone for right now. I don't want to feel the pain from them being here.

"Are you sure you're going to be alright?" Dad asks. I know he doesn't want to leave a blind fool alone.

"I'll be fine," I tell them. "Please could you just leave me alone to get some sleep?" I ask and I hear Mom getting pulled away by Dad. I know she wants to stay with me but I can't deal with this. I have to die. There's nothing left for me in this world anymore. I should be capable of ending my own life.

….

…

Everybody is staring at us…well they are more staring at Kuu than at me, he's the real celebrity here. It was hard enough coming through Tokyo after landing at Narita despite it being the very early morning here but the hospital is worse. Can't they just leave us alone? Yes, my lovely and amazing and sometimes dimwitted – I will not forgive him for not keeping Kuon there longer – husband is a legend in this country but I am still a mother. We could be as famous as famous could be but we are still parents wanting to find a doctor to ask them to let us see our son.

Kuu puts his hands flat down at the counter as he looks at a very excited nurse. I want to smack her but I'm sure a lot of people are wondering what we're doing there. My emotions are heightened and I've always been called a drama queen though hopefully it's been playfully.

I have to control myself. My baby boy is blind and can't work anymore, all these years when I haven't been able to hold him are worth what now?

"Which room is Tsuruga Ren in?" Kuu asks and the nurse looks between us. "Check the visitation list…"

"Only family members are allowed near Tsuruga-san at this time," the nurse says and I respect her for being so protective in my son's safety but just let us near him. You don't need to be so concerned about doing your job. Just let me see my little boy.

"It's okay," a doctor says and I look at him, "I'll take them."

We follow the man down the hall, I know that Kuu is talking to him but all I can hear is the sound of my own heartbeat, drumming so heavily in my ears that I'm scared it'll rip my chest. Kuu is still talking about something with the doctor but all that I can see is my baby. He looks like he's sleeping.

After so many years, I am finally able to see my precious Kuon but sadly he won't be able to see me. I look at the bandages that are covering his body and notice that there is blood there. My darling. I just want you better and I feel terrible that I can't help you.

I freeze as it dawns upon me that he did this for some girl that he wasn't even a boyfriend to. He did this to save someone else's life and that makes me cry. He'll never be able to experience their first date, he'll never be able to see her wedding dress or how happy she is when she sees him waiting at the end of the aisle promising to be hers, he won't see any children that he might have fathered. He won't even be able to pick out the ring that he wants to propose with.

He'll miss so much and I can't stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks.

Kuu looks to me and puts a hand on my shoulder, "It's okay. He's alive, it's okay, Julie."

I sob harder. I don't even know how to voice my pain but all I can focus on is what might be underneath those bandages, "but look at him, the bandages. They don't put bandages on someone for nothing, Kuu. I….can't….what happened to our son?"

I don't know how to comfort him. I wanted to be there for him in the past so I could watch him grow up but if he ever has kids then he won't know what they look like, he'll miss all of those firsts. The first smile. The first steps. He won't be able to see any of that. My pain is stabbing me in the chest and then I hear something.

"Your son is awake."

 **End of Chapter Two**

 **Thank you for reading**

 **Thank you to reviewers of Chapter One**

Ashenvale, Brennakai, KrisXD, paulagato

 **Response to Reviews**

Thank you so much for all of your support. You'll have to wait and see how the story develops 😉 Kyoko will definitely be in the next chapter though. Once again, thank you for all of your support, it means a lot to me.


	3. Chapter 3 - Discoveries

**AN:** So first of all, I'm updating this because of the change of plans and new idea that will be in this chapter. Also this is going to be a rare chapter that doesn't have Ren/Kuon in it so I hope you enjoy.

The next three fics I plan to update are: Study of Life, Parenting Firsts, and The Lake in the Park

 **Chapter Three – Discoveries**

I know that my son wants to be alone right now and it completely breaks my heart. He should have someone there who can make sure he's taking care of himself okay. He's entered a very difficult part of his life and he shouldn't be facing it alone. It just devastates me that my presence in my son's life is causing for him to have these feelings. I sigh as I sit in the waiting room with people staring at us. Julie is absolutely devastated.

"Hizuri-san," the doctor approaches me and I shake Julie a little to wake her up. Fortunately people have started to leave us alone though I imagine that they are taking photos on their cameras due to the little respect that the young ones have. Oh god, I've started to sound like my father, "Can you follow me?"

"Come on," I tell Julie as she looks up at the doctor, "We have to go talk to the doctor, okay? We have to listen to see if there's anything that we can do."

Julie clutches to me, "What about _him?_ Does he want to see us yet? Is my baby asking for me yet?"

Kuon is far from a baby these days but I don't feel it right to break Julie's heart all over again. I shake my head and she shakily stands up. I know that she just wants to be near Kuon. I want to be with him too. I don't think he can handle this alone.

We follow the doctor to a generously-sized office and he looks at us gravely as we sit down opposite him. Julie's hand is freezing and she's clutching mine as if she's afraid of me leaving here. I won't leave her. "I wanted to talk about…how do I refer to him?" he asks and I look at Julie.

"Kuon, please refer to him as Kuon," she says and I have to bite my lip. I'm not sure if he's still trying to preserve his identity but I think the fact that we're both in Japan and that the hospital knows makes it far more likely for him to be found out.

"Kuon's condition," the doctor continues. "His sight is gone for right now, however the damage wasn't as bad as we originally documented. Now, I'm not saying that he can ever get his sight back but there is a chance."

My eyes widen and I feel that spark of hope in my chest. Kuon might be okay after all. It will probably take maybe even a few years for him to properly heal but he might be able to return to acting before he's twenty-five or thirty.

"However, the chance would be for an experimental treatment that is being worked on. Now, the thing about the treatment is that it's very costly and only has a twenty-five to thirty percent chance of working."

I blink. That's still something. That's still more than something. Julie looks hopeful as well but then there is still that seventy to seventy-five percent chance of our hopes for him being only false hope. I have to believe in it though.

"It's very expensive," the doctor responds, "so a lo-"

"Are you kidding me?" I laugh bitterly, I stand up and place my hands on the desk. "Nothing is more important to me than my family. It may have taken some sacrifice to learn that but I don't care about the expense. I don't care what it costs, I'm more than willing to pay it."

"We'll do anything that we can for Kuon," Jules agrees, "Can it be done immediately?"

"The pre-operation time would be about four months, he has to heal first but there are certain things that would need to be done during that time, certain treatments, certain precautions," the doctor continues. Okay. Fine. He won't be able to see for at least four months but if him seeing again at all needs those four months before the operation then we're going to be there to take care of him.

"Again though, it is expe-"

"I don't give a damn how expensive it is," I tell them again, "Seriously, if you want the money transferred to you right now write me a damn amount. I'll even give you a blank check if that satisfies you. I'm paying for my kid to get that treatment."

"How much is it?" Julie asks and I stare at her shocked. It doesn't matter. If they want to overcharge me, go ahead. I've got more than they can imagine in savings accounts in multiple banks. We also have holiday homes that we could sell. "I know that we'll pay whatever it is but it doesn't hurt to ask."

"In total it would be about forty million yen," he says and I stare at him as if he's an idiot.

"You want cash, check, or credit?" I ask as I stare at him and he looks at me surprised. "Seriously, lump sum or did you want to do it in installments because I can arrange for that amount of money to be delivered to you in suitcases as early as tonight."

"You do understand that it is the same price as a hou-" the doctor says and I don't think my disbelief could climb any higher.

"And do you understand that this is my _son?_ " I ask him. Yes, that amount of money is a lot but it's more than affordable for us. It sometimes makes me feel guilty our shared assets but this amount of money won't really affect us but it will have some effect for him, or it hopefully will have.

After signing some papers and learning that there will be six installments of the payment, I leave the hospital room hoping that this hope will do some good for Kuon and raise his spirits. As I hold Julie's hand, our eyes widen as we see somebody who though I love, it's impossible to hide things from.

"Father?" she asks me with wide eyes, "What are you doing here?"

….

….

My gut feels horrible, the image keeps on playing in my head and how I was so helpless and so useless that I just couldn't stop it. Right in front of me was Ren Tsuruga, my friend, my mentor, the man I love and he was bleeding heavily whilst being burnt in front of me and all because I had lost my awareness that a light was just about to shatter and kill me.

I keep remembering how they had immediately gotten to his face and seemed to peel something from his eyes before putting a damp cloth over it. I was too scared of what was before me to really do anything of value and for a man who has always helped me.

They had insisted that I go to the hospital as well for a check up because they weren't sure whether anything cut me or burned me. The doctor said that I was in shock and though there was nothing wrong with me at that point, he wanted me to stay for observation. As much as I told him it wasn't necessary, he had insisted.

At least, I had hoped, I would find out more information on Tsuruga-san but nothing. What I did find was a bit more interesting and much more surprising. Father and a woman that I'm assuming is his wife, walking through the hospital in Japan. Is there a movie being filmed with them that I don't know about. Is Father playing a doctor or something? However, they both look worn out and as if their bodies are close to breaking.

"Father?" I ask confused, "What are you doing here?"

For a moment, he just stares at me blankly as if asking me the exact same question. That's when he opens his mouth and takes a look around trying to figure out what best to tell me.

"We were visiting….a friend in the hospital," Julie says before looking between me and Father. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Hizuri Juliella. Do you know my husband?"

"This is Kyoko, that I was telling you about," Father says and Julie smiles weakly.

"You told me that you thought Kuon was in love with her," Julie says and Father looks between us awkwardly. I'm confused. From the way that Father was talking about Kuon, it was as if his son was dead? He said that he wished he could have seen him older but if they were keeping him in this hos-

"Is it to do with cryogenics?" I ask and Julie-san stares at me confused, Father opens his mouth but quickly closes it without saying anything.

"No, it's…" Father says before looking down. "My son is alive, our son is alive but he's…we were separated for a long time. Those important people that I was telling you about, well one of them was him," he says and I blink confused.

"So, he agreed to see you, that's great," I smile though I wonder where he would be. How can someone who looks like Father hide out in a country where they honor him and respect him so much. He must have some kind of hidden skill that Father hasn't mentioned."

"Well, he's in bad health right now," Father says awkwardly and my gut twists for him. It's obvious how much he loves his son.

"He would be about the same age as Tsuruga-san, right?" I ask them and then get a text message from the president, he wants to see me in the morning for a new assignment.

"Yes, he's exactly the same age as Tsuruga-san," Julie says and I can see the awkward way in which Father is looking at her. It's as if she's trying to tell me something but my brain isn't registering. "Did you know that Tsuruga Ren is just a stage name?"

"I did know that, I do know that…is that why nobody is telling me anything, is he in here under his real name?" I ask before stopping. Why are they so interested in Tsuruga-san all of a sudden? Why is Kuon Hizuri in the same hospital as Ren Tsuruga? My heart starts to beat faster as I think of how Father reacted to what Tsuruga-san said about my portrayal of Kuon.

My eyes widen as it starts to click in my mind, "Tsuruga-san is Hizuri-san?" I ask. I don't understand this. Somehow logic is failing me. Tsuruga-san….Hizuri-san….are they truly the same person? Ren is Kuon? Well, it would make sense. He didn't know Japanese phrases, I had guessed that he was from America before but he shrugged it off. He always acts as if he was brought up in a rich family who spoiled him materialistically especially with how he dealt with food.

"Yes," Father says solemnly, "but it's his secret. I was hoping that he would tell you himself but in his current condition," he says and I freeze. His current condition?

"How is he?" I ask nervously and Father shakes his head, Julie-san starts sobbing. Is he dead? Dying?

"He's blind," Father tells me and I stare at the two of them in horror.

"Blind?" I ask and Father nods.

"They say that there's an operation, a procedure that they could try which has a slight chance of restoring his vision but it's only a slight chance," he tries to explain to me and I want to throw up. Because I didn't react to my environment in time, Ren…Kuon…Tsuruga-san…Hizuri-san has lost his vision. He might have even lost his hope.

"Can I see him?" I ask and Julie-san looks at me.

"You don't have more of a reaction to his identity, you don't feel hurt or betrayed?" she asks me and I look at her.

"I want to see him. I….I love him," I don't care if they tell him that because he probably hates me. I still want to help him though. I want to make sure that he's okay and that if he is hurt, I can help. I feel tears fill my own eyes. He won't be able to see the girl he's in love with despite how she's using him. I'm just hoping with all my heart that the operation is a success.

 **End of Chapter Three**

 **Thank you for reading**

 **Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Two**

Kris XD, PandashipsCS,

 **Response to Reviews**

Kyoko really cares for him so it'll be hard for her when she sees him. Hopefully you guys aren't too upset by the twist of the operation. Hopefully Kuon can see a lot more once he's gone through the healing process.


	4. Chapter 4 - Just Hold On

**AN:** Thanks for clicking on the latest chapter of this story. I just wanted to let you all know that I'm going to be doing something a little different and a little exciting on my fanfiction page. I want to spread out and so am going to be writing for more and more fandoms as a way to challenge myself. Because of this, I was scared that the main bulk of my readers (the skip beat readers) would have a hard time locating fics so I made a community of just my skip beat fics.

 **Chapter Four – Just Hold On**

It must feel all so easy for everyone in the world who has their sight and I'm such an asshole that I took it for granted. I remember colors but how long until I don't remember what color things are anymore. What if it all turns to grays and I remember nothing? What if I lose track of what my mother looks like or my father or maybe even worse, what if I lose my memories of what Kyoko looks like and how she looks so adorable when she needs something from me.

No, I'm a jerk.

I shouldn't be thinking about this, I should be thinking about what I _can_ do and what I might be able to do is to get my hands around whatever the sharp object is beside me. If it's something metal then maybe create a spark and electrocute myself or if it's of a different textile, I can cut myself, aim for a vein or an artery or something, maybe even put it up to my jugu-

"What the hell are you doing!?" I hear my dad yell and he grabs my hand, moving the item out of my grasp.

That's really unfair. He has the upper hand here because he can see and I can't and I told him that I wanted him to leave. He should have left. This doesn't concern him anymore. I hear my mother trying to control her sobs and Dad has hold of my hand. I hear him panting.

"Are you an idiot?" he asks and I can hear the pain in his voice. It sounds as if he was truly worried about me. I look away from him. How should I answer that question? Yes, dad, I am an idiot now please share your intellect with me. Am I even worth that to him?

"What makes you think that my not killing myself makes things any better for me!?" I yell and hear another gasp. Maybe it's a nurse. Well, no matter who the nurse is then I can reason my way out of this. I can prove that I'm smart even without my sight.

"They say that…" Dad says and his voice goes quiet, "There's a slim chance that you'll regain your sight," he says. He treats this ray of hope as if it's some coveted news that he didn't want me to hear. My dad isn't a jerk, which means that the hope really is slim. Am I supposed to live on the chance of two percent hopefulness, one percent hopefulness. I shake my head and turn it.

"You're lying," I say. I really want to believe that he's just trying to say this to me so that I will continue to live and as I adjust get used to my new situation. I don't want to trade my dreams in for false hope, why can't he understand that?

"I'm not…" Dad says slowly, "I'm not lying. We've already agreed to pay for the treatment and the operation but it can't be done yet, we need you to be strong during your recovery and preparation. You'll have to let me help you," he begs and I sigh.

"It's over, isn't it?" I ask with a stiff chuckle and Dad freezes. I don't know why he doesn't know what to say right now, he seemed to be able to say everything so freely before. I feel a pressure on my shoulder.

"I've got my hand here," he tells me and it's obvious that he has. Is this something that the doctors told them to do, constantly narrate their movements around me. He has his hand on my arm, okay, what next? "What is over?"

"My career, my life as Tsuruga Ren," I tell him. It's a really devastating thing to admit since I still want to play that part of the Japanese actor who just appeared out of the blue. If my parents were to help me then it would just put me back into my father's shadow as someone who was a little famous for a little while but only because he was the son of Kuu Hizuri. "Everything is tied to that life. My acting, my hopes for the future, Kyoko…"

I hear a soft gasp and I feel that my heart has burned up into a crisp. She's here, isn't she? She's heard all of this and she knows who I really am and I'm just grasping around in the dark. I don't blame her if she gets angry at me for not telling her the truth. I was her childhood friend who knew that I was her childhood friend and yet didn't tell her for my own protection.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, "Mogami-san, I'm really ve-"

"I don't care," I hear her say and she approaches me. "Can I put my hand here?" she asks and I feel her put her hand on my shoulder, I nod before letting my hand cover it. "I don't care who you are," she says in between a few sobs, "I care about who you are inside not what your name is, not what your family tree looks like. You saved me. You risked your own life and you saved me and I…I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I put you in that situation."

"I love you," I dare myself to say and hear her pause and draw back. I scared her. She doesn't know how to react because she's a good girl and she doesn't want to hurt my feelings, she doesn't want to hurt a blind man's feelings.

…..

…..

Did I just hear that right? I couldn't have just heard what I…I thought…did Tsuru-Hizuri-san actually just tell me that he loves me. No, I need to get out of my daydreams and get my hearing checked. I don't know what to say in response to him because I don't want to act cocky that he _could_ love me. I wipe the tears from my eyes and frown. No, he just…there's not a…

"I'm sorry," I tell him and see how he looks down disappointed in me. I feel so bad as I stay beside him. It's obvious that he's having a hard time dealing with this and the damage that the accident did to not only his eyes but his appearance as well, it's devastating but I want to help him. I want to find something to do that could ease what he's going through. "I'm really sorry,"

"It's okay," he laughs weakly, "Just speak honestly. It's okay if you're honest, Mogami-san."

"No, it's just that I didn't hear you," I tell him. Okay, now I wish that I had come up with a smoother answer and in front of his parents as well….wait, is Father his dad exclusively or can I still call him my Father. No, that's not what is important right now.

"I said," he pauses as if his spirit has left his body, "I'm in love with you."

"I…" I'm shocked that I've heard it twice now and alarm bells are going off inside my head. I feel as if I'm about to jump over the barrier that separates the danger zone from my independence. I take a nervous breath in before deciding to be honest to myself, "I love you too," I tell him and he sits there quietly. I wish that I could talk to him, have him react, look into his eyes but it's much more serious right now.

"Really?" he chuckles lightly despite his situation and I nod but realize he can't see me.

"Of course," I tell him as I put a hand to my heart. "I love you….Kuon," I say as I feel the heat burning in my cheeks. I've said his name now and not just the name Ren but his birth name, his real name. Now that I know that it's _his_ name, I can kind of see how well it fits him and it softens him a little bit more. He's become more relatable with just that name.

"Even if I _am_ Hizuri Kuon?" he asks and I wrap my arms around him, he quickly shifts his position but only so he can wrap me up in his arms as well.

"Yes, I love you," I tell him again and it feels much more refreshing on that second time that I've said it. I look at Father and Julie-san, Father is looking so proud and Julie-san is trying to wash away her own tears. I know that Kuon needs a lot of strength right now and hopefully Yashiro-san and the president and all of our friends can give it to him.

…..

…

I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to do right now. Ren Tsuruga never really got close enough to have any true friends or rather, I was his friend but I'm not sure if he ever considered me to be a friend. Still, after all we've been through, he has to know how much I care about him and yet I know nothing about what he's going through. Absolutely nothing. All of these years and I still don't know that much about him or what is happening and it makes me want to panic and ask for information.

Everyone is telling me to wait, focus on Kyoko's work, maybe I'll only need to focus on Kyoko now on and that as far as they last heard that he was alive. Everyone just tells me to focus on my job but it's agonizing because I don't care right now about his work, I don't care that he's my client and maybe all he sees me as is his manager, I don't care that people are gossiping about what happened on set.

I just want for him to be okay and to know that he's living and if he really is injured, that he's fighting with all of his power to hang in there. At least tell me that he's alive.

"Yashiro-san?" I hear someone ask and finally my head starts to cool down and I see Kyoko there. Hopefully she has some news that will keep my fears down. Maybe she could special access to him in the hospital because certainly Ren would want her to have special access. "You're here early, did you know that I'd -" she says and I look at her trying to get her to talk about Ren.

"What happened?" I ask her and she looks down sadly.

"Umm, you mean with Tsuruga-san?" she asks and I hold myself back from shaking an answer out of her. I have to calm down, I have to relax. Kyoko is probably in shock after what happened but eager minds want to know what happened after he went to the hospital, my mind in particular.

"Yes," I tell her, "He's okay, isn't he?"

"He's alive," she replies and I pause, my jaw dropping slightly. What on earth does that mean!? Give me some more context here, what kind of a response is that. "I mean, things might be okay after the operation but chances are that it might not work."

"Operation?" I ask slowly and my brain is literally screaming at me. What kind of an operation!? What is going on!? Is this something that I should know about. I try to fiddle with my glasses to control some of my anxiety. Okay. Okay, let's slow it down. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"He's blind," she tells me and I feel as if everything in my whole body has crashed with a sudden thud. What did she just say?

 **End of Chapter Four**

 **Thank you for reading**

 **Thank you to** _Ashenvale, Kris XD, and PandashipsCS_ **for reviewing Chapter Three**


	5. Chapter 5 - The Next Stage

**AN:** Hope you enjoy. Thank you for your patience with the updates 😊

 **Chapter Five – The Next Stage**

Boss has seriously lost it.

After Kuon told me that he is okay with me going into LME as his father to talk about the different ways to proceed with his acting career after the incident and him saying that he would publicly come out as Kuon Hizuri within the next week, I didn't think that I'd actually be telling important people myself about our relationship. I phoned Kuon to make sure that it was okay with him and he told me to go ahead as long as it wasn't to a reporter or on live TV.

Boss even asked me to deliver Ren's file as well as a copy of his passport to the acting department's head though I knew him as an intern when I visited years ago. I can hear people whispering my name and asking me why I'm here. I know what they are thinking and I'm thinking the same thing. Why couldn't an assistant do this? Why couldn't someone like Kyoko do this?

I know why. My son is very important to me and though Kyoko could do this just as well they need to make sure that the file can get from Point A to Point B without anyone in the middle knowing. Okay, so I'm good for that but it does cause gossip to start around me.

As I enter the acting department, all the conversation stops and there are crickets. People are just staring at me and I smile weakly, there are a few people who I remember from my time here. "I've got a file that needs to be dropped off," I tell them before walking forwards and spotting the head of the department. "I need to hand you this," I tell him before seeing that everyone is watching me with interest. "In private."

"Ye-Yes of course," he says as he gestures for me to follow him to the office. "What is this about?" he asks as he gestures for me to sit down. I shake my head and put the documents in front of him.

"Kuon Hizuri needs to take a break from his work for LME," I tell him and Matsushima stares at me as if I've lost my mind. I'm repeating the words that the president wanted me to say, why are they looking at me like I've offered the emperor dog food? I cough and gesture to the folders.

"Kuon Hizuri doesn't…doesn't work here," Matsushima says and I sigh.

"He does but under a stage name. Many people don't know about our connection but he wants to come out because of his accident. I'm in Japan hoping that he'll…" I see the other man open the file and then look at the passport before his mouth drops open and he's just staring at the materials in front of him. It can't be that big of a shock, can it? He's trying to find some kind of sense or logic but the passport has his proper name on it, that's why he's always flown alone or never let someone else see the document.

"I…heard that Tusurga was taken to the hospital," Matsushima says as he looks through the documents and then faces me. "I just never knew that…"

"We had our reasons for not disclosing our blood relations," I tell the other man. "If there are any fees involved for putting him on temporary hold then please tell the president to bill me for the amount. Kuon or as you know him, Ren, has enough to deal with right now. I am very proud of my son and I care about him deeply, I am trusting you with something of the most value to him, his career.

Matsushima nods as he studies the files again, he still seems in shock, am I really _that_ powerful here? I feel like some type of Yakuza boss. I bow to him before taking my leave and he immediately locks the file in a safe. I approve of that. It takes a good man to do that.

…

…

I feel the wall as I attempt to stand up out of the wheelchair. Mom tells me that we're outside of my apartment but it feels painful when I try to find the place to put my key card in. I feel the door but it's as if I have to put my hands all over it just to find the gap. I feel as if my acting techniques, being able to visualize a set as the place where my character exists is failing.

I can't even picture my own front door well enough to put a key inside of a slot.

"Darling, let me do it," Mom tells me but I try to keep the card to myself. I don't need any help. I can do this. I hear noise behind me, another step of footsteps. Too light to be Dad. I then realize that I know the smell of this shampoo and the light perfume. I smile but still attempt to find the place to unlock the door.

"Kyoko-chan," I smile and hear a small squeak from her direction, she'll still have to become used to my saying her name like that. It makes me feel excited to hear her cute squeaks and murmurs. "You came…"

"Yes, I…Ren-san?" she asks as I hear her turn in my direction, "Are you having any trouble with the door?"

"Just let him figure it out, Kyoko." Mom sighs. She sounds exhausted and hopefully I'm not draining her of too much of her energy. I want to find the way to open the door and yes, we've been out here for a while now but I don't want people to start doing things for me just because I can't see.

I feel Kyoko place her hand on my wrist, "You're nearly there," she tells me and I feel comforted by her. "Just a little more to the left and forward just an inch or so more," she tells me and helps me guide my hand to the part where I insert the key. I feel her holding my hand and I manage to get the door open before putting the key in my pocket and hear Kyoko hold the door for us to go in.

"Darling, please sit back down," Mom says and I hear the sound of the wheelchair that she's holding, moving it slightly. I don't want to resort to being in a wheelchair. I'll be fine without a wheelchair. A cane. Don't a lot of blind people use canes to get around and make sure that they don't trip. I could use a cane.

"I'm fine," I tell her but I have never noticed how slippery the tiles are of how the walls felt. I was living in this apartment the whole time and I wasn't able to notice such small details. I have no right to call myself an actor. I could have collected all of this data but I was just focusing on how it looked. Have I not been experiencing the world in the ways I should have?

"I'm going to make us some tea," I hear Kyoko call out from the area of the apartment where the kitchen is. "Please let me know if you'd like your tea made in any kind of special way," she says, "Black, right?" she says and I know that this time her voice is directed by me but it makes me kind of uneasy that she didn't say my name. Would that be a stupid thing to request?

"Black," I nod and she turns. I figure out that she's left by the sound of her footsteps but I wouldn't have been able to tell otherwise. I try to reach my fingers out to find something familiar. This is the living room. I know that we have the chairs, table, TV…I walk forwards but feel myself trip on a cable and Mom has caught me and is shifting my weight to a seat. I feel her kneeling opposite me.

"Darling, are you okay? Are you hurt?" she asks and I sigh, dropping my head. It's getting tiring not being able to tell where things were. "You just tripped over the wire for the TV. Maybe we can move these so you don't trip over," she says and I freeze before nodding. I don't want to be a burden on my parents, I've spent so much time being independent and I don't want to have to rely on anyone.

"I think I'll just go to bed," I tell her as I know that if I count the rooms, I'll be able to find the one with my bed in it. As I stand up, I know how to get to the hallway and from the hallway I'll just count the doors as well as my steps. I take a deep breath and hit my head on the wall. Damn it! I just walked right into it. It's as if I smacked my forehead on a door when entering a building. Forget grace and refinement, I'm a real mess right now.

"Darling!" Mom worries again, "Kyoko-chan can you bring some ice? Oh, Kuon, are you hurt?" she panics and I try to laugh through the pain.

"Don't worry so much, okay?" I ask her and she doesn't answer me but her hand is against my back and I feel her shivering as she attempts to not cry. I can hear her breath catching in her throat. I feel terrible that I am the reason why my mother is wanting to burst into tears.

…..

…..

How can he not see that I only want to help him? I know that I was a terrible mother by the time he was fifteen and I didn't know what to do. I wasn't as strong as I am now. I didn't know how to treat kids who had a harder time than others and maybe I was in my own dreamland, my own fairyland, but my neglect doesn't mean that I didn't love him. I didn't even realize what was going on until I was scared on what might happen to him.

I never wanted him to leave for Japan anyway but it was the best decision for him at the time and he became motivated with his dream of acting and with that motivation he blossomed and grew and became the man he is now. Still, I want to be of as much help as his mother as I can be and it hurts my heart to see him in so much pain.

As I see his toe catch on the cord going to the TV, I immediately step out in front of him and catch him. He isn't that heavy. I've definitely caught a few male models in my time and a lot of tall female models wearing impossible to walk in shoes.

I just want him to use the wheelchair for right now, let someone else take care of him until he's stronger. If a dog broke their leg you wouldn't let them run around, you'd get them one of those devices so they could rest their broken leg. I don't want to hear them say I'm being over protective. I'm his mother. I get to love him and take care of him more than anyone else does.

I hear him tell me that he's just going to go to bed and I watch him nervously. Is his bed made? He probably does make his bed but I want to make it. I want to wash his sheets and put them back on his bed as if he's fifteen again. I hear a thud and see that he's walked straight into the wall.

My poor baby! I jump up wanting to help him but I'm scared he'll push me away again. I know that he's used to being independent but I want to prove to him how truly loved he is and how Mommy wants to keep him protected from harm. I haven't had my son within my reach for such a long time, would it be too bad for me to want to take care of him, have him depend on _me_ for a change.

 **End of Chapter Five**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

 **Thank you to reviewers of Chapter Four**

Ashenvale, Kaname671, Kris XD

 **Author Response:**

Yashiro will be giving some aid to Kuon and yes, Kuon. I think Yashiro is going to have a POV next chapter if I remember to write it that way 😊 Anyway thank you for all of your support


	6. Chapter 6 - Alone in the Dark

**AN:** Thank you for your patience in the update of this fic, I hope you enjoy 😊

 **Chapter Six – Alone in the Dark**

I know that I sound insane for even thinking this but I am disappointed that there is no set menu for people who have lost their sight. If this was another illness then a doctor would tell you chicken noodle soup or that they should avoid red meat. All I know is that I want to make Kuon breakfast and it should be something easy to handle. Maybe toast and black coffee but I shouldn't fill the cup all the way up, it would scold him. Maybe soup with a large spoon, that might be easy on his stomach. I want to make a large breakfast but he might have difficulty with silverware and definitely chopsticks.

Soup. Soup would probably be easiest.

I check the fridge, thankfully Kyoko got groceries earlier because there's little in here. I see some convenience store rice balls and smile. Onigiri. It's a triangle that you hold in your hand and eat. I know how to make that as well so my son should be able to enjoy it.

I'll make him lunch as well and store it in the fridge so that he can grab it. I should probably make some things for myself but I usually need more than this to satisfy my appetite. I hum as I stand opposite the fridge and hear a voice behind me, weaker than I would have hoped for.

"Dad?" Kuon asks, second guessing himself as he knows that there's somebody there but he can't see me. I turn to him, seeing the pain that he's going through and feel guilty that I don't want him standing. He should sit down. If he hurts himself or trips then it would pain me as his father.

"Yes, did you sleep okay?" I ask him and Kuon scoffs at that.

"Did I sleep okay?" he asks me and it's a valid question. He might have been kept awake all night by his thoughts wandering and twisting up in each other. It's happened to me on many occasions especially when Kuon was fifteen and Julie wasn't speaking to me and I nearly had panic attacks worrying about my loved ones. "I don't know. With how dark it is, I feel as if I'm asleep now." He walks slowly over to a chair, making sure to touch the back of it and then patting down the seat of the chair before sitting down.

I hate this life for him. He's a hero, he saved the woman he loved and yet he seems so innocent right now. "I'm making breakfast," I tell him and he nods.

"You know, this morning when I first woke up, I thought that I was still in a dream and that for some reason my eyelids weren't working and then I realized that my sight was gone," Kuon tells me and I try to control my breathing. "It was haunting in a way and devastating in another."

"I think mornings are going to be like that for a while," I tell him. I just wish that I could help him with more than cooking meals and watching his movements. Kuon has always been independent and I don't want to imagine him doing some of the things that he has done in the past especially with his acting. "You got a call on your phone earlier," I tell him and he turns his head before realizing he wouldn't know where his phone was. "I didn't answer it but it was from Yukihito-san. That's your manager, right?"

"That's my manager," he tells me before turning on the phone and then realizing that he has no idea what he's doing or what he's pressing. His hand starts shaking and he drops the phone before bowing his head, his whole body trembling. I turn down the heat on the soup because I don't want to see him like this. I need to be the one to help him, to protect him.

…

…

I want to take care of myself but I can't seem to do everything that I once did. I'm a burden to my parents and I'm a failure to Kyoko. I know that Boss has tasked her to take care of me when she's not working or focusing on something like school, training, or something else important. I feel that I wanted to save her but I didn't want to force her to be with a burnt cripple who can't even see how badly he was hurt.

I take my phone, holding it in my hand and hoping that Yashiro calls back.

I should have been able to answer my cell phone but because it's a touch screen, I don't even know if I'm pushing the right buttons. I could delete all the data on my phone and I wouldn't know it because I wouldn't be able to see it being done.

I feel a couple of tears down my cheeks. This is another punishment. I can cry but I can't see? This is a pretty cruel world. I lean forwards and let my head rest on my arms as they are on the top of the table. I haven't cried like this in a very long time, even with Rick it was more of a prolonged numbness than crying.

I hear footsteps and feel that Dad is coming over. He probably feels awkward and burdened by this rush of emotion, this uncharacteristic emotion. I never meant to burden him with my problems.

"I'm touching your shoulder," Dad tells me. I hate to say but I'm glad that Mom, Dad, and even Kyoko have learned to tell me what they are doing before they do it. I feel Dad kneel down next to me, massaging my back a little bit. "Kuon, it's okay. It's okay," he tries to tell me as he rubs my back. I guess he either doesn't care about my disability or he's awkward about how to act and is relying on acting. "May I hug you?" he asks and I nod nervously. I haven't been hugged by my dad for a long time before this accident. Dad wraps me up in a bear hug.

"It's okay. It's okay," he tries to soothe me as he pushes my face to his shoulder and rocks me as if I were a little boy again. In Dad's arms, I have memories of when I would fall and scrape my knee as a child and Dad would put all his effort into making sure I was okay. I'm in my twenties and it feels like the same thing.

"I'm weak," I tell him and he pushes his hand through my hair. "I shouldn't be like this, this burden to you or to Mom."

"You're never a burden, Kuon," he tries to reassure me. I know that he's probably feeling strange here, I never cried much even as a kid, well I never cried in front of my parents. Dad is probably trying to make up for the time lost between the two of us. None of that was his fault. I was the screwup.

"Did you want me to call Yashiro for you?" he asks and I sigh, making sure to calm myself down before nodding. I feel that it would have horrified Kyoko to see me so weak. "What's your passcode?" Dad asks as he takes the phone from me, I tell him and he puts it in. Thank god that my parents are here, these are people I trust with my life.

Dad sets up the call and hands the phone to me, I hear it ring and then hear Yashiro on the other end of the line.

"Ren," he says in a panic, "Are you okay? I tried to get a hold of you earlier. What's going on?"

"I won't be able to work for a while after that accident," I try to tell him, my voice in a professional manner and I hear him sigh.

"I know, Kyoko-chan told me what the doctors said. They also said that they could make an attempt to get your sight back. Do you know anything about the surgery? Are you with anyone right now who can help you?" he asks and I feel that I might as well rip the Band-Aid off and tell him the truth.

"My parents are staying with me," I tell him and Yashiro exhales in relief.

"Your parents?" he asks, "I've never met your parents, Ren. Do you think -"

"You've actually met my father," I tell him and Yashiro gives a sound showing his confusion. "I've been working under a stage name this whole time," I continue but Yashiro already knows this. He just uses Ren because he's too respectful to demand my identity from me. "My name is Hizuri Kuon," I tell him and hear his shock even though I'm unable to see him. "I'm the son of Kuu and Julienna HIzuri."

There is silence on the other end of the line.

…

…

I watched a show last night, a drama that I found by accident but it had one important plot that I actually managed to grab a pen and paper and write notes on. The main character was a skilled tennis player who lost her sight. Obviously she couldn't play tennis again but the instructor she had had when starting out reappeared in her life and learned how to take care of her before they fell in love and in the end got engaged.

I'm not thinking of going so far as getting engaged to Kuon but I do want to do my best in taking care of Corn. Afterall, I really want to be known as his girlfriend especially after he got into this situation by trying to protect me. I could have easily been the one who had lost her sight.

As I walk down LME, I see Yashiro on the phone in complete bewilderment. It seems like a very important phone call but he knows about Ren's blindness, I told him that myself. What other earth shattering news could he be getting.

I try to pass him but my curiosity snags me and I find myself coming over to him despite knowing the phone call is private. As he ends the call he looks at me, his jaw still hanging open.

"Did you know?" he asks me and I blink. "Do you know the reason why Kuu-sama is in Japan?"

Did Kuon tell him the truth about his identity? I know that before he knew that there was a slight hope of him regaining his sight, he was about to tell the world his identity because he had given up on his dreams of becoming a Hollywood actor but is he still going through with that. I nod and Yashiro looks at me, I know he's hesitant.

"You know that he's visiting his son, right?" Yashiro asks and I nod again.

"Kuon told me at the hospital himself," I tell him and Yashiro stares at me in shock again. Yashiro-san got excited when he met Father whilst I was posing as his son. I know that he's a huge Kuu fan but I know that he also cares about Ren as a friend and maybe even as a brother. I don't know how close the two of them are after all. "He's really suffering."

"Do you think that it would be okay to visit him knowing that Kuu will be there?" Yashiro asks me and I stare at him. Now I'm confused. He's Ren's manager, someone even closer to Kuon than I am. This shouldn't be a question.

"I think Kuon would appreciate that," I tell him and then sigh. "I'm going over there tonight. Let's go together," I offer and Yashiro nods. I hope that he'll calm down from the shock soon, Kuon really needs support and friendship right now.

 **End of Chapter Six**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

 **Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Five**

H-Nala, Kaname671, paulagato

 **Author Response**

The Hizuri parents are definitely going to be thinking about what boundaries to stick with when it comes to Kuon. Also with Yashiro he's going to get more support than he originally thought especially with friendship. I'm wondering if I should include Yashiro's POV next chapter. I'm planning to do Kuon's and Kyoko's but I think Yashiro might be a good one as well.


	7. Chapter 7 - Our Support

**AN:** It was a little hard for me to write this so it's shorter. I guess I'm feeling less inspired when it comes to Skip Beat because I loathed the latest chapter and especially Kyoko's character in it. I did want to update though so I hope you enjoy

 **Chapter Seven – Our Support**

My voice repeats back in my head. I think about all the times in which I said observation is the best way to learn how to act in different scenes. You have to look at everything you can, hear everything you can, touch everything possible to touch. You have to rely on the outside world to be an actor and now I'm trapped within this small inner world. I bow my head and push a hand through my hair, at least I know how to act out despair.

I always claimed to be able to do most things with one hand and I thought that I knew all of the basics of acting and now I can't even focus on the joy of being in a scene because it's not a lasting joy and if it is then it's not one that I could have again.

I know that everyone is telling me not to feel despair and that there is hope and even if I am blind, I can still stay within the fields of acting but maybe from another angle. I don't want that. I _want_ to be my best and maybe I am selfish wanting what I worked for for so long, what I've been working for for so long.

"Careful," I hear Mom say as she comes over to me, she places a hand carefully on my back and then puts another hand to my wrist. She moves my hand slowly. "I refilled your tea cup," she tells me, "Right here."

I smile to her. I don't want to talk about how damn irritated I am with losing my independence, from having been admired and looked up to to having to be looked after. I take a shaky breath and nod. I don't want to smile, I don't want to accept that maybe everything could get better because I feel like I'm lost and even worse than that is because I am scared to lose more and I'm scared of lost hope. I don't want to hear that I'm blind for life with no recovery.

"Mom," I tell her and hear her slide the chair back. "I…I can take care of myself," I argue and hear her sigh. She stirs a spoon in her own cup and I hear her sip the tea. I nervously lift the other cup to my lips. I shouldn't be harsh on her, she's worried about me and I'm lucky to have parents who care about me so much.

"I'm allowed to," Mom tells me stubbornly. "I'm allowed to take care of you. I wasn't allowed to for _years_ so I'm taking the opportunity to do so now." I laugh at that and Mom laughs too. "I wasn't allowed to show my son off to all my friends and take pride over his growth. I want to be with my baby."

I pause before sighing, "I'm not a baby anymore," I tell her, "and I doubt that you'd be proud of me."

"You're a survivor," Mom tells me, "and even if you weren't, you're alive. I am proud of you for not doing worse, for finding a life with people who care about you. For being my son," she kisses my cheek and I smile weakly. I don't know how I'm going to handle this new part of my life but I do know that I should be appreciative of the people around me. I need to do this for them and fight for them.

I smile as I nod. "Thanks, Mom" I tell her and she squeezes my hand.

"Of course, Kuon," she tells me and then places our hands on the table, "I'm here for you. We're both here for you."

I have to hold tight to that. No matter how much of a freak I believe myself to be, I'm not. I'm loved. I have to remember that.

…..

…..

"Are you sure they are at the apartment?" I ask Kyoko as she looks through her bag for something. I hope that she hasn't forgotten something and if she has then I hope it's not important. I hate to admit how worried I am about going there. I'm scared that I'm going to say the wrong thing or they'll come to think of my presence of being an annoyance rather than an act of friendship. I slow my breaths and Kyoko turns to me.

"Are you worried about Kuu-sama?" she asks and honestly I'm not. It's starting to click into my head what happened when Kuon came from America and changed his persona to Ren. I thought it was exotic for him to be from California but there's not been a day that I've known him and haven't been suspicious of him.

"Actually no," I tell her and sigh as we stop at a light, I look around feeling extremely thankful for having working sight. I might be cruel for saying that but I want to appreciate the good in my life and motivate Ren – Kuon to do the same. "I'm worried about Ren…Kuon," I correct myself and Kyoko sighs.

"He's the same person," she says and I don't know if I've explained myself well enough. I know that they are the same person, that's not what I'm thinking about. I'm scared that I've thought of my presence in Ren's life as bigger than it is. I consider him a friend and I would want to continue our friendship despite his limitations but does he. He's always isolated himself even when he's in a crowd.

"I'm worried that I'll be of a negative use" I laugh and Kyoko shakes her head.

"There's no way. You mean a lot to Kuon," she tries to remind me and I take another breath in and try to concentrate on the road. I am skilled at not trying to give everything an emotional reason but being sensitive to whatever emotions are around me. I need to be strong for Kuon. He needs friendship despite all the protests that he might make of not needing it.

…..

…

As we reach the apartment, I can see that Yashiro-san is still shaken. It's going to be okay. I don't know what he's worrying about anyway, maybe Ren can act a little cold and distant but both Ren and Kuon greatly admire and depend on Yashiro. They wouldn't want him to feel hurt. It's going to be great for Kuon to know that he has more support from all of us.

Yashiro still seems nervous as we go to the front of the apartment building and I'm sure it's not the size of the building that is causing him alarm. He's been here more often than I have. I can only assume that it's Kuon's condition but something like that shouldn't matter to Yashiro.

I just hope that Kuon is having a better day today. He got in this accident because of me and my carelessness, I just hope that he's doing better and that he's learning to cope. I can't help but feel responsible for him but I feel scared to say that, that is something that Julie-san wants. She didn't have her child for so many years and she's a good mother unlike mine. I can't help but think that I ruined it for her.

I hear the door open and see Father there. I smile to him and see Yashiro-san drop down into a very formal bow. "Oh, we came to see Kuon," I tell Kuu who is studying Yashiro and bows to him as well. "This is…"

"I know, his manager," Kuu says and Yashiro immediately stands up straighter. He pauses and I know he's feeling more nervous. Yashiro has told me before that Kuu has always been a hero to him and Yashiro seems nervous about how casually Kuu-sama is speaking. "We've met before," he says and I close my eyes remembering the time when I played out the role of Kuu's son.

"We came because he's Kuon's friend as well. We wanted to show our support," I tell him and Father nods, his expression showing his understanding of the situation. I take another deep breath in and see Kuon sitting with Julie-san. I approach him slowly. "Hi," I whisper as I put my hand on his back. "I came to see you."

"Kyoko-chan," he smiles as he takes my hand and squeezes it. I hate that he seems so lost but I can't do anything to stop it as much as I might want to. "Yashiro-san came as well."

"He did?" Kuon asks sounding unsure and Yashiro moves towards him.

"I did. I came to see how you were doing. I was worried about you," he laughs. Yashiro takes off his glasses and I see the sadness in his eyes that I feel responsible for as well. I hear his voice clearly though. "I also came to see the state of the burns." Kuon pulls back subconsciously and Yashiro chuckles, "I definitely think we can take care of those. Get you acting again."

"You think a blind man can act?" Kuon asks in disbelief and Yashiro laughs.

"Not any one, no an average person may experience some difficulty but for you, I think you are the one who will stand out against other people. When it comes to you, Re-Kuon, you could do anything in the acting field. Now, I want to know what information you want the press to know."

"For right now," Kuon says nervously, "Maybe nothing. I need more time to think about it."

…..

…..

I feel a little nervous having so many people around me, when I was a teenager, I felt that I would never have anyone supporting me again. I thought that my parents no longer wanted me as their son, I felt that Rick died because I cared so much about him and our friendship but now when I need people they have come for me. I don't deserve this. After all of the pain that I've caused in my life, I don't deserve such love but that doesn't seem to be an issue for them.

I take another breath in and feel Kyoko's hand on mine. "I don't want to stop healing because I'm afraid of the reaction of the public," I tell Yashiro who seems to understand. I'm surprised not to hear him fangirling over either my relationship with Kyoko developing or Dad being here.

"I'm going to make us something to eat," Dad tells us and I nod. I stand but Kyoko helps me stand, I know that everyone is worried about me. They are worried about my condition and especially how I'm managing it. I'm doing my best but there are still a lot of things to work out.

I take a deep breath in before bowing deeply, Kyoko tries to steady me and I know she's scared that I'm going to fall over and hurt myself. "Thank you," I tell them and hear Mom take a few steps over to me. "Thank you for all of your support."

 **End of Chapter Seven**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

 **Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Six**

H-Nala, Kaname671, Kris XD, PaulaGaTo


	8. Chapter 8 - The Father

**Chapter Eight – The Father**

I hate to admit that I feel like a child. A child who has just been told off for keeping his bedroom light on and to stop reading comic books under the sheets with a nightlight. Only, my life didn't really have any of that. It had my parents being out late at night and the housekeeper making sure that I was in my room. I didn't live in the worlds of comic books and fantasy, I preferred to read my father's movie and TV scripts and thought of a day when I could stand side by side with him.

I was on my way to having that happen, I was on my way to be considered an actor that was truly capable of carrying on my father's legacy. I _was_ about to be capable of that before I lost my eyesight, before my face got burned. At least I can't see the scarring from the burn, that _is_ a positive about my condition.

I hear the door to the room open and I hear two sets of footsteps. "Dad?" I ask as I try to turn towards the sound and hear my dad coming towards me. I hear him come closer and then feel his body. His hand is pressed onto my shoulder and I can even feel his fingers stretching across the fabric but it really is dark and I don't even know what color of shirt he's wearing.

That thought depresses me. Colors are beautiful and everyone should get a chance to see them except I can't see the colors anymore. I can't see the blue of the sky or the ocean and the green of plants and trees. I just am hoping beyond hope that one day my eye sight is restored.

I don't know who the person who came with Dad is but they seem to have a musky aroma of some kind of exotic cologne. My sense of smell has been heightened since the accident. "Boss?" I ask unsure. I don't know who else it would be.

"It's good to see you," I hear Boss tell me and he smiles before I can hear him sitting down. "I came here because I wanted to ask you for something, no, let me rephrase that, how are you doing?"

I pause. That's not really rephrasing it but I know what he's trying to do. I know what they are all trying to do. They are trying to treat me with respect but really it doesn't matter. I'd be happier if they weren't all trying to tiptoe around me. I'm not attempting to be a burden to them and so I'd like it if they stopped making me feel that way.

"I'm fine, considering," I tell him and look away. I really should be fine. I hear by Boss's exhale that he doesn't believe me but he doesn't want to push on the subject which makes me wonder about why he came here. I let his words run across my mind once again before I slowly breathe, "Kuon. It's Kuon," I decide and Boss takes a slow breath.

"Kuon," he repeats and I nod, "Did you want to give a statement to the press about that?" Boss asks and I hear Dad's breath catch in his throat. I know that Dad is worried about me but maybe this is the best option. If this all gets out in public then we don't have to worry about any ugliness coming through unexpected. I nod again.

"We can think about that," Dad says and I know that he's trying to protect me rather than take charge of my life but the only person who can truly choose what happens is me and I've lived for so many years being independent. I am glad for Dad's support but I can live life the way that I choose.

"I'm ready to be Kuon, it's not like Ren exists much anymore," I tell them and hear Dad sigh.

Boss takes a deep inhale, "Well," he finally sighs, "You have any tea Shuuhei?" he asks and Dad jumps up as he says that and I can hear his nervous shuffling. I lean forwards and let my head bow – not that it makes any difference – and Dad turns to me.

"Kuon, do you want tea?" he asks and I nod. "Okay, I'll go get some for us," he says before leaving the room and I feel the pain inside of me. I don't think that there's a way of reversing this situation but I can at least steer it where I would like it to go and where I want it to go this time is getting my eyesight back, getting back to work, enjoying life again.

For some strange reason, it feels as if it would be easier to do all of that as Kuon Hizuri. Maybe I should give Kuon a shot at least.

…..

…

As I look over from the stove, I can see Kuon awkwardly accepting his position in this life. He isn't aware of his body or the fact that he's missed a button or the fact that his clothes don't match at the level that he's had them before. I know that in his current situation, the fabric is much more important than the look. It's important that he _feels_ good with what he's wearing but I can't help but think of all that he's missing out on.

I'm his father. Even though I haven't really had the chance to say that to him, it doesn't change the fact that he is my son. I know that I consider Kyoko a son as well but I only have one biological son and he's hurting and I'm scared that I won't be able to do anything for him.

I feel the pain in my chest. It's the same pain that came every day for six months after he walked out on his old life. It was for the best but the fact that I lost him and the way Julie blamed me for the pain and told me she hated me. It made me feel like what I had done was wrong but I had to be the bad guy for them. Right now, I'm not sure what kind of a role my son needs me to take on but he's more important than my career. If my career goes down in flames I'll just think of how lucky I am that Kuon didn't have that fate.

I trust that Boss will be able to arrange all the paperwork that is needed to be signed and be able to work things so that Kuon isn't fined for not being able to complete the contracts that he signed. It is in there that if you have a debilitating injury, you shouldn't be found at fault for not being able to complete the work you were contracted to do. The future though, that will depend on what the doctors can do for my little boy.

I probably shouldn't be eavesdropping on the two of them talking. Kuon is an adult now and he has been independent long before he was considered a true adult. He hasn't needed parental support for a long time. I should be respectful and not eavesdrop on the conversation but when I'm _this_ concerned for him, it's really hard to avoid those sentiments.

"So," Boss says and I try to tell myself that I am not a part of this and to ignore the conversation. "How does it feel with your father so close?" he asks and my eyes widen. I can't stay out of this conversation any longer. They mentioned me. Boss asked Kuon his thoughts about me. I'm not strict enough with myself to not want to hear that answer.

"I can see that Dad cares for me now," he says and my heart breaks. He wasn't able to see that earlier? I sigh. Maybe it's because I didn't chase after him because I was worried about his life not getting better when he was grieving for Rick. I want to tell him how much I love him. I need to show that to him. I don't just care for him, I love him unconditionally with all of my heart.

"He does more than that," Boss tells Kuon, "He does truly love you."

I smile and hear Kuon chuckle at that. I hear the kettle ringing as the steam comes out and I pour some water into a cup. I try to maintain my composure but I doubt that Kuon can see that I haven't really been able to shave or properly style my hair today, as long as I pretend that everything is normal then he can't see the truth. I prepare the tea and as I'm bringing it to the next room, Boss says something that makes me stumble a little.

"How about you come to LME tomorrow," he says and I stare at Boss with wide eyes. I don't say anything, this is Kuon's choice of whether or not to go but Kuon going to LME scares me. I close my eyes and smile weakly.

"I'll come with you if you want me to," I offer and he turns to me. I look at him, just wanting to take so much care of him and if there was a way I could switch positions with them then I would. Kuon nods and I put my hand on his shoulder. I am there for him. I want to be his father. I hope I have earned the right to be known as his father.

…

…

Dad is shifting in his spot as we sit down on some chairs in the hallway of the agency. I can feel by the way that Dad is moving that each time someone comes near us, they are staring at us and not sure whether or not to say anything. I should have known that coming with Dad would make me more conspicuous.

I look down and Dad carefully places his hand on my back. I hear someone approach and I feel myself get a little bit more tense from the nerves. Dad, of course, notices this but before he says anything I hear Sawara-san looking at us.

"Hizuri-sama," he says to Dad and I cough. I wonder how they would have reacted to me had I completed my own journey and moved to the US. I should have stayed on the path but I did this to protect Kyoko. I wanted most of all for Kyoko to be safe. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to take care of Tsuruga-san," Dad says, "for a friend."

I sigh and shake my head before turning in the direction of Sawara-san. I've of course spoken to the head of the talent department numerous times but I would say that Kyoko has a better working relationship with him than I do. Maybe she explained how this happened. He at least hasn't said anything about my face but the rumors must be spreading for miles.

"He's my dad," I tell Sawara who gasps and Dad puts a hand on my upper arm.

"Are you sure?" he asks and I nod. Dad sits back and I raise my chin in the direction of Sawara-san again.

"Kuu HIzuri is my father, I am his son. He's here to support me and help me if I need it."

I hear a hushed silence for a moment before people start commenting on the news. Admittedly, it could have gone a lot smoother but I want to prove how proud I am of being his son despite the situation that I've found myself in.

 **End of Chapter Eight**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

 **Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Seven**

H-Nala, Kaname671, paulagato


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